Wednesday, May 2

Tedious Testing

Ah, the week of standardized tests.

And finals.

And studying for bar exams (I'm so sorry, Heather).

Have I made you groan yet?

It's awful, and you come to that point when you succumb completely to the test and it's drone-producing tendencies. You're sold. You're in. You'll fill in 50 more bubbles, read 8 more stories, and click through 64 more multiple choices if only it promises to leave you alone. Forever! (Or at least until next year.. or semester).

Almost as bad as taking a lengthy standardized test is giving them. (almost) Watching fried 8 and 9-year-olds click buttons on their laptops for the 3rd day in a row while you remind them to review all their answers (ya right) and to go through the tutorial one more time (really? is 6 times necessary?) is enough to drive anyone over the edge.


I have to admit, though, taking one yourself is much worse than watching someone else take one...

SATs taken at Brebeuf Jesuit. They decided to place me right next to a window. (How kind of them). On a Saturday afternoon. A very nice and sunny Saturday afternoon where I could distantly see the baseball team swinging and throwing and catching and laughing while I meticulously filled in tiny gray bubbles on a scantron. All I remember about that test is wanting to run. Just go outside and run and run and run and run. (And the funny thing? I don't even like running for no reason. You'd never catch me on a track or cross country team. Gimme a ball or zombie and I'll run, but not just for fun.) But, see, that's what tests do to you...

I-STEPS in 3rd grade taken at Pleasant View Elementary. They told us it'd be awful. They told our parents to give us breakfasts that would feed a football team. And 8-year old me remembers absolutely nothing about it except that my mom woke up to make me pancakes everyday, and I'd be signed up for some test with a weird acronym every other year until the end of my primary education. Greeeeat...

ACT taken at Zionsville High School. Sat through an insanely long wannabe SAT whilst trying to finish the book I brought to read during my free time. I was shocked when the test asked us questions about science--honestly what government education agency actually cares about science? I read a story about babies who won't feed grown-ups crackers if they don't like them and.... that's about it. First test I've never completed in my life. Oh, and to top it off--they lost my scores. Total waste of 4 hours..

Speaking of science tests...

AP BIOLOGY Final Exam taken at Brebeuf Jesuit. 200 multiple choice questions. Piece of cake. Jk and I studied for all of 30 minutes about plant parts before tossing out our textbooks for good. Who knew after question 80 I'd finally realize what it felt like to have ADD? Tests take a heck of a lot longer when you're telling your brain to focus right before each question. Longest test EVER.

AP PHYSICS EXAM taken for absolutely no reason at all (as everyone knew there was no way I'd get a high enough score to get any college credit.) I made it through the multiple choice and about half of the short answer problems before I realized my study skills of playing Sudoku during lectures and taking random bathroom breaks to wander the hall during class (in my defense it was the last period senior year, I was 1 of 5 girls, and the only person in the class who didn't plan on majoring in Physics in college...) prevented me from adequately calculating friction or drag or force or whatever in the world it was asking me to do for an object. After recalling stories of amusing AP tests being turned in with pictures dollar bills flying away on them, I resorted to sketching polar bears and writing ALASKA '06 HERE WE COME! on most of the problems in lieu of Paige and my's upcoming vacation. I got a 2. Out of 5. Which isn't bad....considering.

And then there was my AP CALC B/C EXAM. That was actually a fun test. (Things are fun when you get everything right.)

PHILOSOPHY OF MUSIC FINAL taken at Xavier University. Did you even know there was a philosophy of music? Ya, me either, until I saw it in the course catalogue and though it would be a very cushiony way to finish my Phil requirements. At the end of the semester we were still only on week 2 of the syllabus. (aka I didn't learn anything) But, alas, I had to write 4 essays (around 3 pages each) about various topics we "covered" in class and over which I had "insightful" and "relevant" comments in a single test period. I just wrote for 2 hours and then left. Requirement fufilled! (A)

Map tests in middle school (which obviously did nothing since up until 3 years ago I still believed St. Louis was North of Indiana...), spelling tests in elementary school (btw.. just took one we give our third graders... 12/20. Thank goodness for spellcheck.), spanish finals throughout high school (muy mal). Tests. Papers. Exams. Quizzes. Books. Discussions. Projects. Presentations.

(And lets not forget my countless SWIM TESTS taken at Camp Tecumseh It took me 3 years but I finally got that white wrist band!)


But take heart, my friends, because this too shall pass.

And guess what? Summer's just around the bend!!!! Woot Woot!

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