Tuesday, August 16

Inconvenient Injuries

Yesterday I accidently cut the tip of my right pointer finger. Imagine a super deep paper cut on the tip of your finger. It makes typing and texting miserable.

It is almost as bad as getting a paper cut between your fingers or underneath your finger nail. I mean, how can you even put a band-aid on those places?

Speaking of inconvenient places to band-aid. Every child in the world will tell you how easy it is to scrape up your knees and elbows. And yet it's almost impossible to find a band-aid to satisfactorily cover your cut whilst you play and run and jump and skip like any normal, knee-scraping child would do.

In middle school, my cheek started peeling one day. I decided the best way to remedy the situation was to get a wet washcloth and scrub the tiny peeling spot on my cheek until it wasn't peeling.

Unfortunately it started bleeding.

Yep. A self-inflicted rug burn--or washcloth burn, I suppose. I had a perfectly circular scab on my face for weeks. I told everyone I ran into a pole and decided to wear it semi-proudly as evidence of my apparent lack of direction rather than to admit what actually happened or to pull a Nelly and wear a band-aid underneath my eye for all time.

Once, when I was playing the row-boat level in Mario Party and the shy guy kept jabbing my crew mates and I with a spear because I wasn't rotating the tiny N64 joystick fast enough, I got a huge blister on the palm of my hand. You never really realize how much you do with the palm of your hand until it is raw from a stubborn bout you had with a difficult Nintendo game.

I know I'm not the only one with a video game injury. For one, that's certainly why they put so many warnings on the Wii games. How inconvenient would it be to tell people that you got injured during a Wii Sports game rather than an actual sports game?

When I was three, I got stung by a bee. On the very top of my head. What bee decides it's a good idea to sting someone's skull??

Worse than that is getting a mosquito bite on the bottom of your foot. I don't care what type of shoes you wear--it is impossible to thoroughly itch a bug bit on your heel.

I think the most inconvenient injury, though, is burning your tongue. Because, usually you burn your tongue on the first bite or sip of that sweet or savory treat that you're just dying to enjoy, and not quite sure if it's ready yet. Then, once you discover that is it NOT in fact cooled down enough, you lose the entire enjoyment of the consumption process since every subsequent taste is subdued by the prickly tastelessness of a burnt tongue. Annnnd, then you have to deal with the same sensation for about a week or two.


No comments:

Post a Comment