Sunday, January 22

My Heart's Notebook

My Mac is dying. I realize it's just a computer, a piece of hardware, a small white machine, but it still hurts.

Because it's not just a computer--not really. It's sorta like my muse. It's where I write all my blog entries, scan my drawings, save all my recipes, collect ideas of things to sew. It's where I feel brave enough and imaginative enough to write stories. I keep quotes from my favorite books, and pictures that remind me of people I love dearly. I jot down notes on little stickies and have everything happily organized into folders with names I like.

It's kinda silly, but when you go back and forth between your parents' houses after they get divorced, you start prioritizing things. "What do I really need for 3 days?" We'll I've got a list--it's a short one. My phone, my Bible, my bear, my laptop.

Well, now my laptop rarely turns on. It won't save, it won't load, it won't unfreeze, it won't do much of what a laptop is supposed to do. I've got a phone that is a mini, top-of-the-line computer; Jk's brand-new tablet he lets me use; a Mac desktop sitting in our kitchen--the only place there is a 3-pronged outlet; an old black laptop Jameson fixed up; and my shiny new Mac from school, but none of them seem to cut it.

None of them "fit" right. I suppose it's like trying to use someone else's wand or writing the next chapter in some one else's book. It doesn't work. And I miss my laptop.

I miss the thing that stored all my memories and dreams and imaginations and doubts and creative musings. I miss my airbender background and the virtual stickers I put on all the icons on the dock. I miss it's over-used keys that were the pen to write the things of my heart. I finally get why they called it a notebook. And unfortunately I'm running out of pages in mine...

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