Friday, July 29

Soccer Snacks

Whether you played soccer, basketball, football or baseball. Whether you won or lost. Whether the coach put you in for longer or shorter than the required 20 minutes in youth sports. Whether rain or shine. Those team moms came through for us--with those beloved, albeit questionably nutritious sports snacks of our youth.

I, for one, played soccer (ps. how wonky does my double-jointed arm look in that picture?). Forward. Midfield. Basically any position that would enable me to score points. I even won a "Longest-Legs Award" one year. (How weird is that?) When the coach got mad at me or wanted to give me a breather, he put me in as sweeper. It sucked*.

But I loved it. Not the practicing and over-sized jerseys of course. The games. :) And when the game was over, the water-bottle dry, and the cordial "good game" handshakes in order, all I wanted was some of those amazing soccer snacks.

Gushers: Seriously? Your child just spent 90 minutes running around in 85 degree weather and you're feeding them gushers? This company must've had some serious marketing strategies because gushers had to have been the most heavily ingested after-game snack on the planet.

Kool-Aid Squeeze-Its: You gotta love a snack that's name tells you how to consume it. Who else compared the faces on the squeeze-it bottles with their team-mates? And how bizarre was it that they chose to personify the plastic bottle to make you feel both elated and a little deranged for putting so much pressure on your beverage that its eyes and tongue popped out? Did anyone else chew on the crescent-shaped top and pretend it was your mouth guard? No? Just me then?

Koala Yummies: What kid doesn't love biting the heads off of chocolate-filled marsupials? I cannot convey to you how earnestly I have been pining for these.

Little Hugs Drinks: These, of course, were the second-rate squeeze-its, but still enjoyed nevertheless. Either they wanted to base the design off of the barrels from Donkey Kong or they were trying to make children feel like they were drinking ale. Either way, it worked.

Chewy Bars: If I was forced to eat a granola bar, at least I could get my chocolate and peanut butter intake as well. I loved the peanut butter chewy bars. The worst, though, was when they bought the mixed pack and you were left with the oatmeal raisin one...

Fruit Roll-Ups: Not only did they claim to have real fruit, but they also allowed you to tattoo your tongue. My personal favorite were the ones that had the little shapes you could tear out.

Sunny-D: I love how I actually felt healthy drinking these. Also, who honestly wants a large glass of orange juice after sweating profusely?

Air Heads: These weren't originally on my list, but after the gushers and fruit roll-ups I knew there was some other candy passed off as a legit after-game snack. And then I remembered these--how could I have forgotten! You could get like 8 of these for a dollar, and the blue raspberry always turned my mouth blue (as if having a bright red, after-game face wasn't enough).

Kudos Bars: I always selected kudos as my granola bar of choice because they were known for their inclusion of M&Ms and the fact that they sold bars dipped completely in chocolate. Finally, Quaker wised up and made some of their own.

Hi-C: Classic. Maybe that's what the C stands for...

Of course there were the juicy juice boxes, nature valley bars, and always that mom who brought oranges, bananas, homemade trail mix or something ridiculous like that. But for the most part, we always got what we needed after the big game: our sugary, satisfying, sports SNACKS.

*I have henceforth found the value in playing defense after participating in intramural indoor floor hockey in which I had the inexplicable honor of playing goalie. Yup. Musty mask, pads and all. Including the mitts that were perpetually damp from the previous occupant's sweaty boy palms. You don't fully appreciate the presence of a good defense until you have a puck flying at you and your goal and naught but a stick and a mitt to keep it from hitting you.

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