Thursday, December 22

Rockin' Sidekicks

Forget Robin, he was lagitimately lame, but I'm here to argue that there are some sidekicks who are way better than their legendary counterparts. Let us begin...

Let's start with Thomas, John Smith's friend in the Disney version of Pocahontas. This movie was how I first came about this interesting discovery about awesome sidekicks. Thomas is not only far from the arrogant Johhny Bravo-like John Smith in personality but also in looks. He's got that boy-next-door charm going on and you can tell he cares more about others than gold, frolicking through the colors of the wind, and the enormous amount of hair gel John Smith probably made out of animal fat to keep his hair up. In stark contrast  to the "hero" of the film. Plus he's got red hair.

Speaking of Disney's Pocahontas, did anyone think Nakoma was much prettier and sweeter than Pocahontas? (I did). And she totally deserved Kocoum if he hadn't gone and gotten shot by the pesky white men...

He's a master chef, can converse with all the woodland animals, bench about 800 lbs, and is still (incredibly) a side-kick. Kronk was the only reason I watched The Emperor's New Groove about 38 times throughout high school. He's a hilarious, glass-half-full hunk who completely steals the show. And, he's full of great advice, "All your poisons kinda look alike, you might want to consider relabeling a few of them..."

Hercules might be as strong as Kronk, but what is even more impressive is the fact that Pegasus could actually fly around with a guy like that on his back. Though not quite accurate to the original Greek myths, the Disney Hercules received Pegasus as a birthday (actual birth day) gift. He might not have been the brightest horse in the Olympian stable, but who wouldn't love a flying horse?! Pegasus is amazing and the greatest animal side-kick ever. And he was certainly the most adorable one as a baby.

The only reason I watch Pride and Prejudice is because of the cute side-kick side story between Mr. Bingley and Jane. They are too endearing and not at all the emotional roller-coaster that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are. Simple and super sweet, they remind you that the movie is actually a love story while the main characters argue until the very last 5 minutes (which I never even got to the first 3 times I watched).

Now Winnie the Pooh is a classic, but you just can't beat Tigger. I would have totally preferred Tigger as a friend over Pooh, he's light-hearted, energetic, optimistic, and always ready to party. While Pooh is more concerned about ingesting more and more honey. With all the sugar that snuggly little bear consumes, you'd think he'd be as hyped up as Tigger: the-spring loaded tiger. Additionally, large cats are way cooler than big-bellied bears.

And now that we're on the subject of cooler side-kick species, consider this: dragon versus Itallian plumber. Yoshi is about one thousand and eight times better than Mario. He's a freaking dragon who wears shoes, and he's got the most amazing digestive system of all time! Unfortunately he was roped into being the primary mode of transportation for some creepy short guy with a mustache. But he doesn't complain one bit which makes him even more note-worthy.

Speaking of video games. Diddy totally beat Donkey Kong in coolness. Speed, agility, and the ability to jump higher than his famous monkey counterpart made Diddy the ultimate side-kick of choice in the realm of Nintendo.

Ron Weasley. (It was only a matter of time before I went there.) Alright, so he wasn't the one who killed Voldemort, but he sure helped destory one of the Horocruxes (along with Dumbledore, Hermionie, and heck even Nevile Longbottom) so, really Harry only finished off a fraction of the villian. And Ron might've ditched Harry in the seventh book, but he came back and totally bailed him out right after Harry thought it was a brilliant idea to jump into an ice pond in the middle of nowhere without proper clothing. You've got to give this side-kick of all side-kicks some props though for putting up with Harry's pouting and extremely hazardous lifestyle throughout the 7 years they knew each other. And someone who stands by you without ever getting any of the glory for all those years is one heck of a friend.

1 comment:

  1. Love, love, love it! Ron and Kronk are definitely favorites but Jane and Bingley (Mr. BINGLEY!!! Imagine Lydia and Kitty screaming this :D).